The View from the Mountain's
"I raise my eyes toward the mountains. Where will my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Five years yet yesterday
Today marks my Dad's fifth "Heaven day" as we like to call it! We celebrated him today. The kids wrote and letter and I got a balloon...we attached the letter and sent it up to Papa! The kids had so much fun doing that. They said God would carry it all the way up to him :) I love my children's hearts. Fortunately they didn't see the balloon get caught on a tree right over our ridge...and we didn't feel the need to make that known..lol.
Five years....wow! So much has happened in five years. I took my dad's death hard....but I was silent about it. But then it came out in so many other ways....some good, some definitely not good. I cringe at the mistakes I have made...not only to myself but to others and to my faith. There are times I find myself lost in thoughts of what ifs, and how comes and it literally makes me sick. But today on this fifth anniversary of my dad's heaven day...I am accepting all the changes that have come, letting go of all I have lost, and forgiving myself for not doing the things I knew to do and doing the things I knew not to do...hmm, sound familiar. I could honestly spend the rest of my life hating myself for not being better....I could have been better, but I wasn't. I heard recently the past is where the lessons are learned and the future is where the lessons are applied. I think I have grieved long enough, been sad long enough, and hated myself for long enough. Tomorrow is my future. I will apply everything I have learned over the past five years to living the next five years to the best I can do holding firmly onto my Lord while He does the rest.
Grace is given, not earned, it does not come freely, but when given it can breathe a breath of life into a soul that was so lost. We can never go back or we will burn to ashes, we must go forward striving everyday for our best....the past has nothing for us, the future holds everything. I will rise because God gives me the strength, I will love, because God first loved me, and I will forgive, because God forgave me, forgives me, and will always do so as long as I seek Him first in all I do. How could I hold forgiveness from myself or anyone for that matter when the only one who has ever had any true reason not to forgive, forgives unconditionally and then forgets it! What an amazing God we serve.
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Phil.3:14
Monday, November 12, 2012
Freedom
Having just celebrsted Veteran's day, I feel inclined to write about something that has been on my heart regarding freedom. On Friday, I attended an assembly held in remembrance of our Veterans'. Several children were asked to get up and speak about what they believe freedom means. The most popular response was, "Freedom is getting to do what you want." As I sat there hearing this said over and over, I started to cringe. Is that really what freedom means? Or have we just dumbdowned our teaching and explanations of this word so much that this is what are kids truly think?
I guess one could argue that freedom truly IS getting to do whatever you want, as long as you also teach them that there are consequences to some of these wants. I.e. I guess you have the freedom to kill someone, but then you'll also have to go to jail. I guess you have the freedom to cheat on a test, but then you'll also fail that test. And I guess you have the freedom to bully someone, but then you chance scarring that individual for life, etc
Yes there are many, many great freedoms that we in this great country have! We have the freedom to vote, to worship, to own and sell property, to become educated, to have families, to have BIG families, to not have families, to go outside, to go to the park, to take vacations, to go to the library, to explore the country, to voice our opinions, to disagree with others, and so on and so forth. But we really need to be specific on how we train up our kids in their learning.
The bible says, "Everything is permissible-but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible-but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.
So as you're teaching your kids about FREEDOM, please make sure they know that freedom is getting to do what you want, but there are civilized guidelines in those wants that we have to follow. AND some of our greatest freedoms were made possible by very LARGE sacrifices.
L
Saturday, July 28, 2012
End Times
Below is a list of verses from the bible discussing the signs of the end times. I looked these up because as a Christian we need to know what to look for, what to be ready for, and know what is happening. I'm not saying that God's coming back tomorrow...He's very clear in His Word that NO ONE knows the day or even the hour, however I have lived it and watched as Christians are so hard on other Christians...and then we sit back and scratch our heads in disbelief.
THEY WILL HATE YOU AND YOU MUST BE OK WITH THAT!!! KNOW THE WORD OF GOD!
We need to know the truth of the Word of God. Satan wants nothing more than for us to hate each other, turn against one another, walk away from our brothers and sisters in Christ. For me, I needed this list so that that I can constantly remind myself that God is not surprised, He is still in control, and that we need Him to help us fight this battle we are ALL in.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 ESV
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.
Mark 13:32 ESV
“But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.
Luke 21:11 ESV
There will be great earthquakes, and in various places famines and pestilences. And there will be terrors and great signs from heaven.
Matthew 24:7 ESV
For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places.
Matthew 24:1-51 ESV
Jesus left the temple and was going away, when his disciples came to point out to him the buildings of the temple. But he answered them, “You see all these, do you not? Truly, I say to you, there will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down.” As he sat on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately, saying, “Tell us, when will these things be, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the close of the age?” And Jesus answered them, “See that no one leads you astray. For many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and they will lead many astray. ...
2 Timothy 3:1-4 ESV
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
Daniel 12:4 ESV
But you, Daniel, shut up the words and seal the book, until the time of the end. Many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall increase.”
1 Timothy 4:1 ESV
Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons,
Luke 21:36 ESV
But stay awake at all times, praying that you may have strength to escape all these things that are going to take place, and to stand before the Son of Man.”
Matthew 24:36 ESV
“But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.
Matthew 24:6 ESV
And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet.
Luke 21:1-38 ESV
Jesus looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the offering box, and he saw a poor widow put in two small copper coins. And he said, “Truly, I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.” And while some were speaking of the temple, how it was adorned with noble stones and offerings, he said, ...
Matthew 24:21-22 ESV
For then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been from the beginning of the world until now, no, and never will be. And if those days had not been cut short, no human being would be saved. But for the sake of the elect those days will be cut short.
Daniel 9:24-27 ESV
“Seventy weeks are decreed about your people and your holy city, to finish the transgression, to put an end to sin, and to atone for iniquity, to bring in everlasting righteousness, to seal both vision and prophet, and to anoint a most holy place. Know therefore and understand that from the going out of the word to restore and build Jerusalem to the coming of an anointed one, a prince, there shall be seven weeks. Then for sixty-two weeks it shall be built again with squares and moat, but in a troubled time. And after the sixty-two weeks, an anointed one shall be cut off and shall have nothing. And the people of the prince who is to come shall destroy the city and the sanctuary. Its end shall come with a flood, and to the end there shall be war. Desolations are decreed. And he shall make a strong covenant with many for one week, and for half of the week he shall put an end to sacrifice and offering. And on the wing of abominations shall come one who makes desolate, until the decreed end is poured out on the desolator.”
Psalm 22:1-31 ESV
To the choirmaster: according to The Doe of the Dawn. A Psalm of David. My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them. To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame. ...
Revelation 13:16-17 ESV
Also it causes all, both small and great, both rich and poor, both free and slave, to be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell unless he has the mark, that is, the name of the beast or the number of its name.
2 Peter 3:3-4 ESV
Knowing this first of all, that scoffers will come in the last days with scoffing, following their own sinful desires. They will say, “Where is the promise of his coming? For ever since the fathers fell asleep, all things are continuing as they were from the beginning of creation.”
2 Peter 3:3 ESV
Knowing this first of all, that scoffers will come in the last days with scoffing, following their own sinful desires.
2 Timothy 3:1-17 ESV
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. ...
Luke 21:25 ESV
“And there will be signs in sun and moon and stars, and on the earth distress of nations in perplexity because of the roaring of the sea and the waves,
Luke 21:24 ESV
They will fall by the edge of the sword and be led captive among all nations, and Jerusalem will be trampled underfoot by the Gentiles, until the times of the Gentiles are fulfilled.
Matthew 24:14 ESV
And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.
Matthew 16:2-3 ESV
He answered them, “When it is evening, you say, ‘It will be fair weather, for the sky is red.’ And in the morning, ‘It will be stormy today, for the sky is red and threatening.’ You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times.
Joel 2:28-32 ESV
“And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions. Even on the male and female servants in those days I will pour out my Spirit. “And I will show wonders in the heavens and on the earth, blood and fire and columns of smoke. The sun shall be turned to darkness, and the moon to blood, before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. And it shall come to pass that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved. For in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be those who escape, as the Lord has said, and among the survivors shall be those whom the Lord calls.
1 Kings 1:1-53 ESV
Now King David was old and advanced in years. And although they covered him with clothes, he could not get warm. Therefore his servants said to him, “Let a young woman be sought for my lord the king, and let her wait on the king and be in his service. Let her lie in your arms, that my lord the king may be warm.” So they sought for a beautiful young woman throughout all the territory of Israel, and found Abishag the Shunammite, and brought her to the king. The young woman was very beautiful, and she was of service to the king and attended to him, but the king knew her not. Now Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, “I will be king.” And he prepared for himself chariots and horsemen, and fifty men to run before him. ...
Revelation 7:14 ESV
I said to him, “Sir, you know.” And he said to me, “These are the ones coming out of the great tribulation. They have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.
Revelation 3:3 ESV
Remember, then, what you received and heard. Keep it, and repent. If you will not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come against you.
Revelation 1:3 ESV
Blessed is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear, and who keep what is written in it, for the time is near.
1 John 2:18 ESV
Children, it is the last hour, and as you have heard that antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have come. Therefore we know that it is the last hour.
Philippians 2:9-11 ESV
Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 ESV
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
Romans 13:11 ESV
Besides this you know the time, that the hour has come for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed.
Romans 5:6 ESV
For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.
Matthew 24:42-44 ESV
Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. But know this, that if the master of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into. Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.
Matthew 24:8 ESV
All these are but the beginning of the birth pains.
Matthew 24:3 ESV
As he sat on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately, saying, “Tell us, when will these things be, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the close of the age?”
Zechariah 12:10 ESV
“And I will pour out on the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem a spirit of grace and pleas for mercy, so that, when they look on me, on him whom they have pierced, they shall mourn for him, as one mourns for an only child, and weep bitterly over him, as one weeps over a firstborn.
Daniel 9:27 ESV
And he shall make a strong covenant with many for one week, and for half of the week he shall put an end to sacrifice and offering. And on the wing of abominations shall come one who makes desolate, until the decreed end is poured out on the desolator.”
Isaiah 52:1-15 ESV
Awake, awake, put on your strength, O Zion; put on your beautiful garments, O Jerusalem, the holy city; for there shall no more come into you the uncircumcised and the unclean. Shake yourself from the dust and arise; be seated, O Jerusalem; loose the bonds from your neck, O captive daughter of Zion. For thus says the Lord: “You were sold for nothing, and you shall be redeemed without money.” For thus says the Lord God: “My people went down at the first into Egypt to sojourn there, and the Assyrian oppressed them for nothing. Now therefore what have I here,” declares the Lord, “seeing that my people are taken away for nothing? Their rulers wail,” declares the Lord, “and continually all the day my name is despised. ...
Isaiah 40:1-31 ESV
Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and cry to her that her warfare is ended, that her iniquity is pardoned, that she has received from the Lord's hand double for all her sins. A voice cries: “In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord; make straight in the desert a highway for our God. Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low; the uneven ground shall become level, and the rough places a plain. And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together, for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.” ...
Genesis 12:3 ESV
I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”
Revelation 16:13 ESV
And I saw, coming out of the mouth of the dragon and out of the mouth of the beast and out of the mouth of the false prophet, three unclean spirits like frogs.
Revelation 13:1-18 ESV
And I saw a beast rising out of the sea, with ten horns and seven heads, with ten diadems on its horns and blasphemous names on its heads. And the beast that I saw was like a leopard; its feet were like a bear's, and its mouth was like a lion's mouth. And to it the dragon gave his power and his throne and great authority. One of its heads seemed to have a mortal wound, but its mortal wound was healed, and the whole earth marveled as they followed the beast. And they worshiped the dragon, for he had given his authority to the beast, and they worshiped the beast, saying, “Who is like the beast, and who can fight against it?” And the beast was given a mouth uttering haughty and blasphemous words, and it was allowed to exercise authority for forty-two months. ...
Revelation 13:1 ESV
And I saw a beast rising out of the sea, with ten horns and seven heads, with ten diadems on its horns and blasphemous names on its heads.
Revelation 1:7 ESV
Behold, he is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him, even those who pierced him, and all tribes of the earth will wail on account of him. Even so. Amen.
Matthew 24:13 ESV
But the one who endures to the end will be saved.
2 Thessalonians 2:3-4 ESV
Let no one deceive you in any way. For that day will not come, unless the rebellion comes first, and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the son of destruction, who opposes and exalts himself against every so-called god or object of worship, so that he takes his seat in the temple of God, proclaiming himself to be God.
Matthew 24:22 ESV
And if those days had not been cut short, no human being would be saved. But for the sake of the elect those days will be cut short.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
What Defines Us?
What Defines Us?
This week I got the privilege to speak to a group of absolutely precious but troubled young teenage girls. They started off by introducing themselves and telling me a couple of things that defines who they are. A couple of the girls said they were nice but could be really mean, another girl defined herself as a brat. I asked them to go home and think about the words they used to describe themselves and figure out if that's really who they wanted to be......
What really does define us? Is it our choices, our actions, our mistakes, our achievements, or is it what others tell us we are?
Here's what I've learned....
Three years ago on Feb. 5, 2009 my father passed away from cancer. Up to this point my life really was pretty great...now don't get me wrong, I struggled with things, but things were really going just rather smoothly and I was happy. I told myself I was ok, I knew this was God's will, I knew that my dad was home, and I knew that this is life and death happens. But what I didn't know is who I really was.
About a year after my father's passing, I started struggling with his death. I became depressed...it was a gradual onset, and I knew it was happening, but I chose to sweep it under the rug and continue on like I was fine. I started becoming more irritable, more impatient, more angry, more bitter. I lashed out at things and people for petty reasons, and before I knew it I was spiraling out of control. Now I will insert here that years prior I had dealt with a bout of depression, not as serious, but depression none the less. Back then I also dismissed what was going on, but I did come out of it and life went on. This time however, I clung...no, not clung, I had a death grip on people. I reached out to all the wrong places to make myself feel better. I tried to control not only my every thought, action, and word, but everyone else's too. I did this because I knew I was losing control.
Now let me say here, this is not easy to write. I have pride like everyone else, and I want people to think I have it together...we all want that. But you know, who cares, let's be honest, who freakin' cares what people think....NONE of us have it together...so why not share with each other our true stories, our true feelings, and our true emotions...yes it's easier to get hurt this way...but it's our story. We may not be necessarily proud of everything in our story, but our story moves us in the direction of what defines us.
So, as I was saying, my depression started about a year after my father's death. The two years that followed...HELL ON EARTH! There are SO many things that I would change from the last two years, but I can't, but you know what I can do? I can move forward, I can learn from my mistakes, I can help others, and I can let God take the most embarrassing, utterly painstaking experiences I have ever dealt with and allow Him to make them beautiful.
As I sit here this weekend and reflect on the last three years, I am met with a great deal of sadness, but also a great deal of joy. I still struggle. I not only mourn the loss of my father, but I also mourn the loss of so many people that are no longer in my life, and lastly I mourn the loss of the girl I was before...I liked her :) I'd be lying if I said I was ok...I'm not, there are still moments of anger that I have to pray desperately hard to get through, but He gets me through it and I know one day those feelings will be gone. Now with that said, I do also find great joy in learning who I really am and who He is creating me to be. Knowing that my God is so gracious and merciful that He would allow me the opportunity to share my story with others. He has allowed me to look in a girl's face that is thinking of suicide and tell her she is not alone, and then get to tell her it will get better, but she has to be willing to fight like hell to do it. God is there and though it's not easy, He will bring her through it, but she has to be willing to cling to Him...no one else! And then I also find great joy in the people He has so faithfully brought into my life...the ones who know my story, know my weaknesses, my flaws, and still love me....and He has allowed my heart to be filled with love and excitement for them.
Life is a journey, or better yet a marathon. We smile, cry, sweat, fall down, get back up, want to quit, press forward, get dirty, get tired, feel alone, feel overwhelmed, stink really bad, and hope and pray that when we finish the race, there are still people left cheering us on. Of course even if we are the last one across the finish line and everyone has given up and gone home...we know that our Lord is still there jumping up and down in excitement for us because He never leaves, He is always there, He loves us, and He's proud of us.
So what defines us? It's not the accomplishments, or the mistakes, or the mountain moments, or the absolute disasters....it's what we do with all of that, it's how we press forward, it's our determination that no matter what, God loves us and no matter how long it takes we will "press on toward the prize for which Christ Jesus has called us heavenward."
That is what defines us.
This week I got the privilege to speak to a group of absolutely precious but troubled young teenage girls. They started off by introducing themselves and telling me a couple of things that defines who they are. A couple of the girls said they were nice but could be really mean, another girl defined herself as a brat. I asked them to go home and think about the words they used to describe themselves and figure out if that's really who they wanted to be......
What really does define us? Is it our choices, our actions, our mistakes, our achievements, or is it what others tell us we are?
Here's what I've learned....
Three years ago on Feb. 5, 2009 my father passed away from cancer. Up to this point my life really was pretty great...now don't get me wrong, I struggled with things, but things were really going just rather smoothly and I was happy. I told myself I was ok, I knew this was God's will, I knew that my dad was home, and I knew that this is life and death happens. But what I didn't know is who I really was.
About a year after my father's passing, I started struggling with his death. I became depressed...it was a gradual onset, and I knew it was happening, but I chose to sweep it under the rug and continue on like I was fine. I started becoming more irritable, more impatient, more angry, more bitter. I lashed out at things and people for petty reasons, and before I knew it I was spiraling out of control. Now I will insert here that years prior I had dealt with a bout of depression, not as serious, but depression none the less. Back then I also dismissed what was going on, but I did come out of it and life went on. This time however, I clung...no, not clung, I had a death grip on people. I reached out to all the wrong places to make myself feel better. I tried to control not only my every thought, action, and word, but everyone else's too. I did this because I knew I was losing control.
Now let me say here, this is not easy to write. I have pride like everyone else, and I want people to think I have it together...we all want that. But you know, who cares, let's be honest, who freakin' cares what people think....NONE of us have it together...so why not share with each other our true stories, our true feelings, and our true emotions...yes it's easier to get hurt this way...but it's our story. We may not be necessarily proud of everything in our story, but our story moves us in the direction of what defines us.
So, as I was saying, my depression started about a year after my father's death. The two years that followed...HELL ON EARTH! There are SO many things that I would change from the last two years, but I can't, but you know what I can do? I can move forward, I can learn from my mistakes, I can help others, and I can let God take the most embarrassing, utterly painstaking experiences I have ever dealt with and allow Him to make them beautiful.
As I sit here this weekend and reflect on the last three years, I am met with a great deal of sadness, but also a great deal of joy. I still struggle. I not only mourn the loss of my father, but I also mourn the loss of so many people that are no longer in my life, and lastly I mourn the loss of the girl I was before...I liked her :) I'd be lying if I said I was ok...I'm not, there are still moments of anger that I have to pray desperately hard to get through, but He gets me through it and I know one day those feelings will be gone. Now with that said, I do also find great joy in learning who I really am and who He is creating me to be. Knowing that my God is so gracious and merciful that He would allow me the opportunity to share my story with others. He has allowed me to look in a girl's face that is thinking of suicide and tell her she is not alone, and then get to tell her it will get better, but she has to be willing to fight like hell to do it. God is there and though it's not easy, He will bring her through it, but she has to be willing to cling to Him...no one else! And then I also find great joy in the people He has so faithfully brought into my life...the ones who know my story, know my weaknesses, my flaws, and still love me....and He has allowed my heart to be filled with love and excitement for them.
Life is a journey, or better yet a marathon. We smile, cry, sweat, fall down, get back up, want to quit, press forward, get dirty, get tired, feel alone, feel overwhelmed, stink really bad, and hope and pray that when we finish the race, there are still people left cheering us on. Of course even if we are the last one across the finish line and everyone has given up and gone home...we know that our Lord is still there jumping up and down in excitement for us because He never leaves, He is always there, He loves us, and He's proud of us.
So what defines us? It's not the accomplishments, or the mistakes, or the mountain moments, or the absolute disasters....it's what we do with all of that, it's how we press forward, it's our determination that no matter what, God loves us and no matter how long it takes we will "press on toward the prize for which Christ Jesus has called us heavenward."
That is what defines us.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
One Act of Obedience
To be honest, my knowledge of the bible is very little. I have never taken the time to dive in and really learn. You can't grow if you don't learn, so that's what I did this week and this is what I learned....
I started in Galatians 1 and 2 and then moved over to Acts 9....here's what I've got so far....
My opinion of Paul, before this week, was that he was like Jesus's right hand man....you know, was "there", had reached the mark...and even though I knew he had a former life that was not so great, I still thought Paul was "special"....not like us normal people that have to work and strive so hard to grow in our relationship with Christ. I thought it was easy for Paul.
(It's amazing what a little reading and little studying will do for your perceptions and knowledge)
So in Acts 9, Saul is out to destroy christians. Then the Lord shows up, throws Saul to his knees, blinds him, and sends him to the city to wait. (I am dying to know what is going through his mind during this time)
Then there is this unknown, insignificant (by the world's standards) disciple named Ananias. The Lord, in a vision...not in person, but in a vision tells Ananias to go to Saul, touch him, and restore his sight. Now, I am really dying to know what's going through this guy's mind....how about, "YEAH RIGHT LORD, the second he sees me he's going to want to kill me!!" The Lord says, "GO!" So Ananias obeyed....not fully knowing that this ONE simple act of obedience would change the world. ---sidenote--- How many times as christians do we look at people and think they are way to dangerous, or way to lost, or way to "not like us" for us to obey God and reach out to them. We don't do it because we are scared, or uncomfortable, or whatever the reason may be....one simple act of obedience can change EVERYTHING....and the worst person out there could possibly be the future of God's plan...but we don't know until we obey.
Fortunately for Ananias it all worked out, he obeyed, and Saul was restored and conformed...forever. Nothing else is mentioned of Ananias (which is driving me crazy, because I would love to know if he ever found out exactly how God used Saul..now known as Paul.
Why did God choose Paul? Why not choose someone who wanted to do the Lord's work? Because...WOW...if God can use someone like Paul...who hated him, hated christians, arrested christians, murdered christians...then think of how he can use me, or us! THIS is what God's grace can do!
So then I ask myself, well how long did it take for Paul to start preaching and spreading the gospel? I mean, did he sit and dwell on all the horrible things he did, and have a pity party for himself b/c God is so Holy and he is so unworthy? I don't know if the bible discusses that anywhere, but what it does say is that AT ONCE Paul started preaching in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God. (Acts 9:20) That right there is how it should be done. You sin, God forgives, God restores, You GO!
So what about Paul's past? I mean how in the world did he move forward preaching God's Word with such a reputation of hating and killing christians? Obviously he had to show by example, people had to see the fruit. But he also talked. He had to share his testimony repeatedly so they would believe him and follow Christ. Paul gave his testimony to a crowd of angry Jews (Acts 22:1-2), to the Roman governor Felix (24: 10-21), to King Agrippa (26:1-23), and to multitudes of people who questioned him in Rome (28: 17-29). I realized here that yes, once Christ changes your life, people want to see your actions, they have to see your fruit(Gal 5:22), but they also have to HEAR what Christ has done to fully understand what is going on.
Now my last observation on Paul this week is that he was Saul as a Jew and then became Paul once he was converted to Christianity. My question was why. My first thought was because the name Saul was distracting people from hearing the gospel. So many people knew of his past and knew what he had done, that they seemed more interested in hating him and wanting to kill him than they were in listening to what he had to say (Acts. 9:29) Maybe if he started going by Paul, people would hear the gospel before they had time to realize who he was. Now my bible says in the sidebar, "Like many Jews, Paul had two names, one Jewish (Saul) and the other Graeco-Roman (Paul). Just as immigrants today sometimes change their names to assimilate with their new land, so Paul began to use his Graeco-Roman name as his missionary team moved into Gentile territory." I would like more information on this topic.
So it's been a deep week! LOL My opinion of Paul is not the same.... Yes, he was special....but so are we...and there's no way it was easy for him...but he knew that was his calling and nothing else mattered, so he persevered and set his mind on the goal. What a testimony!
I started in Galatians 1 and 2 and then moved over to Acts 9....here's what I've got so far....
My opinion of Paul, before this week, was that he was like Jesus's right hand man....you know, was "there", had reached the mark...and even though I knew he had a former life that was not so great, I still thought Paul was "special"....not like us normal people that have to work and strive so hard to grow in our relationship with Christ. I thought it was easy for Paul.
(It's amazing what a little reading and little studying will do for your perceptions and knowledge)
So in Acts 9, Saul is out to destroy christians. Then the Lord shows up, throws Saul to his knees, blinds him, and sends him to the city to wait. (I am dying to know what is going through his mind during this time)
Then there is this unknown, insignificant (by the world's standards) disciple named Ananias. The Lord, in a vision...not in person, but in a vision tells Ananias to go to Saul, touch him, and restore his sight. Now, I am really dying to know what's going through this guy's mind....how about, "YEAH RIGHT LORD, the second he sees me he's going to want to kill me!!" The Lord says, "GO!" So Ananias obeyed....not fully knowing that this ONE simple act of obedience would change the world. ---sidenote--- How many times as christians do we look at people and think they are way to dangerous, or way to lost, or way to "not like us" for us to obey God and reach out to them. We don't do it because we are scared, or uncomfortable, or whatever the reason may be....one simple act of obedience can change EVERYTHING....and the worst person out there could possibly be the future of God's plan...but we don't know until we obey.
Fortunately for Ananias it all worked out, he obeyed, and Saul was restored and conformed...forever. Nothing else is mentioned of Ananias (which is driving me crazy, because I would love to know if he ever found out exactly how God used Saul..now known as Paul.
Why did God choose Paul? Why not choose someone who wanted to do the Lord's work? Because...WOW...if God can use someone like Paul...who hated him, hated christians, arrested christians, murdered christians...then think of how he can use me, or us! THIS is what God's grace can do!
So then I ask myself, well how long did it take for Paul to start preaching and spreading the gospel? I mean, did he sit and dwell on all the horrible things he did, and have a pity party for himself b/c God is so Holy and he is so unworthy? I don't know if the bible discusses that anywhere, but what it does say is that AT ONCE Paul started preaching in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God. (Acts 9:20) That right there is how it should be done. You sin, God forgives, God restores, You GO!
So what about Paul's past? I mean how in the world did he move forward preaching God's Word with such a reputation of hating and killing christians? Obviously he had to show by example, people had to see the fruit. But he also talked. He had to share his testimony repeatedly so they would believe him and follow Christ. Paul gave his testimony to a crowd of angry Jews (Acts 22:1-2), to the Roman governor Felix (24: 10-21), to King Agrippa (26:1-23), and to multitudes of people who questioned him in Rome (28: 17-29). I realized here that yes, once Christ changes your life, people want to see your actions, they have to see your fruit(Gal 5:22), but they also have to HEAR what Christ has done to fully understand what is going on.
Now my last observation on Paul this week is that he was Saul as a Jew and then became Paul once he was converted to Christianity. My question was why. My first thought was because the name Saul was distracting people from hearing the gospel. So many people knew of his past and knew what he had done, that they seemed more interested in hating him and wanting to kill him than they were in listening to what he had to say (Acts. 9:29) Maybe if he started going by Paul, people would hear the gospel before they had time to realize who he was. Now my bible says in the sidebar, "Like many Jews, Paul had two names, one Jewish (Saul) and the other Graeco-Roman (Paul). Just as immigrants today sometimes change their names to assimilate with their new land, so Paul began to use his Graeco-Roman name as his missionary team moved into Gentile territory." I would like more information on this topic.
So it's been a deep week! LOL My opinion of Paul is not the same.... Yes, he was special....but so are we...and there's no way it was easy for him...but he knew that was his calling and nothing else mattered, so he persevered and set his mind on the goal. What a testimony!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Dancing with the Angels....
I was driving to my Mom's house the other night when I started feeling very sad and emotional. I hate feeling this way before I get to Mom's because I don't want to upset her. I decided to sit in the car for a minute to collect myself, when this song came on the radio (Praise God for Christian Radio). The song was Dancing with the Angels by Monk and Neagle and as I sat and listened to it, instead of continuing to cry, I actually began smiling and rejoicing for my Dad. I decided at that moment that I wanted to make this video. I hope you enjoy. The bridges in the video are in Destin where my Dad LOVED to fish from....they are special.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Thank You
I have said it before, and I will say it again....there are not enough words to completely express the magnitude of what I feel towards my church family and to my friends. The utter selflessness and generosity given to my family over the last few weeks has been breathtaking. We are truly blessed to know each and every person that has stepped in to help us. I pray God's blessings on each person and their families. People have babysat, cooked, run errands, provided meals, cleaned our homes, washed clothes, sat with us, cried with us, talked with us, prayed with us and most importantly loved us. After the funeral and burial so many people brought food for our family to the church and then several people were there to help serve us. What we witnessed then and throughout is God's love through His people. I wish there was more I could do or say, but for now all I know to do is say THANK YOU!!!!!!
I am completely humbled!
Laura
I am completely humbled!
Laura
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